Will Economic Meltdown Benefit or Cause Bitcoin Market Crash?

I'm an Identity Thief and I Want My Identity Back [Part 1]

Found this on a darkweb forum. It was posted only yesterday, and I thought you all might find it interesting. Fair warning, there's supposedly more to come, according to the comments on the forum, so this isn't an all inclusive post. I decided to paste it here in real time as it was posted instead of waiting until they were done putting it all online.
From here on out, this is a direct copy-paste of the post, plus some formatting for Reddit.
 
 
I fucked up. Badly.
My whole life has been a great, big fuckup, but this really takes the cake. I'll be dead soon, so it can't get much worse.
My name is Michael Kay, also known as Neale Keaton. If you're running your little bots trying to find my name, it'll match this post. Hello, my little darkweb stalkers.
I'm about to give you my version of events. I'm about to show you that you're being played like the gullible little basement dwellers you are.
So sit down, go fullscreen, and read this through to the end.
Because I think that by the end, you'll see things my way.
 
I'm an identity thief. Have been for four years. When I got out of the military, I couldn't adjust back to "normal" life. I got stuck in the same cycle that other vets do.
No job, living on savings from my military income, and trying to kick my drinking habit.
After almost a year, I came to a brutal conclusion that is the reality for many people in this economy: my identity wasn't worth shit.
I was only a few months away from homelessness, had no prospects at a job, and was lacking in the social etiquette needed for dating. I was an only child of two only children. Grandparents were all dead, and my parents... well, I wanted nothing to do with them. They were the reason I joined the military and left home at 18.
Again, my identity was shit.
But, my drunk and sometimes high brain had a thought that kept repeating itself.
What if I were someone else? Someone with a good background. Some work experience, proof that I was a good employee, maybe even a degree.
In the military, I got to share a training ground temporarily with some of the boys heading into the Army Cyber Command. We got a few chances to swap stories, and they talked about the things they were learning. One guy was especially cocking about how "good" he was at navigating the darkweb. He regaled us with stories about finding illegal identities and firearms online before he even joined the military. He told us that the darkweb was full of everything you'd need, legal or illegal.
With that memory in mind, that's who I turned to.
In a move that further diminished my savings, I bought myself a nice identity off the darkweb. A driver's license, social security number, the works. It came with years of taxes being paid on-time, and some falsified work experience. If I paid extra, the people I bought it from would even pick up the phone when the prospective employer called and recommend me as a good employee. They had a fake website for the company and everything.
They even told me that their services were geared towards people like myself. Those unfortunate enough to have a bad identity. People who just needed the leg up of a trustworthy social security number.
And it worked.
I followed their guidelines, and true to their word, I got a job. From my Bachelor's degree in Business Management, I landed a position as a store manager for a small retail chain.
During the day, I went to work and pretended I knew what the hell was going on.
At night, I got a couple of dated self-help books from the library so I could make it look like I knew what I was doing with all the spreadsheets, scheduling, profit and loss statements, and anything else I was given.
I worked hard. I didn't sit on my ass and let my identity carry me. I worked to earn what I'd been given, and it was the only way I could live with what I'd done.
I was told that the identity was from a child who had died at birth, yet the social security number had not been discarded. The people I bought it from had "raised" that social security number. They hacked into school databases and inserted their name and grades, and did everything they needed to make the kid look like he'd grown into the man I was.
Or rather, the man whose shoes I would step into.
That identity saved me.
But good things can't last forever.
 
While the identity gave me a second chance, it didn't give me good money. The job was good enough to subsist on, but after a year and then two years, I found that I was unable to save anything. At the rate I was going, I'd be working until I was 65 years old and yet have nothing to show for it.
Once your basic needs are met, higher needs come into play. I learned that while reading books about business. Books about how to understand your customers. Even if all their basic needs are met, people are never satisfied.
We crave purpose. We crave something higher. Something better. All the time and always. No matter how high you go, you'll always find something more to want.
The same psychology that has been plaguing humanity for thousands of years, affected me.
I didn't want to be a store manager my entire life. But I also wasn't sure what I wanted.
So, I explored. I read even more books. I'd never read that much in my life, but I was on a mission. I was searching for something, some kind of meaning. I'd been given a second chance, and I wanted to do something with it. But I had no idea what it was.
My first wrong decision, which led me to where I am now, came during work. I was manning a register while one of my employees took a break, and a customer left their debit card behind. I didn't notice it until a few customers later, when one held it up and said "I think someone forgot this."
I took it, stuck it in the bottom of the cash drawer, and thanked that customer.
My employee returned, and I went back to my office to work on more spreadsheets.
At the end of their shift, the employee, whose register I had taken over, brought me the card. I told him I'd take care of it, and took it for safekeeping.
As I turned it around in my hand after he left, my brain started to run things over in my head. I had questions.
What was to stop me from sliding this card through the card reader at a register, choosing to process it as a credit card, and withdrawing cash? Who would know? How would they trace me?
The store didn't have cameras. We were in a good enough neighborhood that my superior had decided not to pay for them.
So, in all seriousness, who would know?
Nobody.
 
My plan was devised while sitting in the office.
It was just past lunch and time for a couple more employees to take breaks. I walked over, card in my pocket, and told the cashier that it was their time for a break. They happily walked to the break room, and I slipped into their place.
The other cashier and I worked through a couple more customers, then we had nothing to do. The store wasn't busy during this time.
I told the other cashier to take some returned merchandise and enter it into the inventory computer in the back. They obeyed, and I had my chance.
Swiftly, I moved to the other cashier's register and typed on their machine. I logged in under their name. They were new, and I had just barely trained them on the system. I only knew their password because it was literally "1234567". I'd seen them type it so many times that I had incidentally memorized it. Their login was the key to my plan.
With their account open, I scanned a pack of gum and rang out the "customer." I slid the card through the card reader, punched in $100 in cash to withdraw, and waited for the approval.
Ding.
Approved.
The cash drawer popped open, I extracted a couple tens, some fives, and a 20 before slamming it closed. I snatched the receipt, stuffed everything into my pocket, including the gum, and went back to my register.
When the other cashier returned, I told them I needed a few minutes in my car. That's where I hid the gum, receipt, and cash.
On my way back in, I used my shirt to wipe the card clean of any fingerprints. I dropped it by the curb on my way into the store, stomping on it a couple of times to make it look abused.
Taking a deep breath, I walked back inside.
Son of a bitch. It worked.
 
There was never and kickback from that experiment. The customer never came to the register asking about their card, and the card disappeared from the curb outside before the end of the day. I suspect that the customer found it there when they came back for their card.
I'm willing to guess that the customer talked to their bank about the extra transaction. The bank probably refunded them and gave them a new card, and the police never showed up asking questions.
At home, I burned the receipt and the gum pack. I burned the gum pack so the barcode could never be traced to me. Just in case.
To celebrate, I used the cash to treat myself to a very expensive dinner that night.
All the evidence was gone, and I was clear and free.
And the thrill was exactly what I'd been searching for.
 
From there, I brainstormed and even researched better ways to accomplish what I wanted.
My goals were two-fold:
1) Make a decent chunk of money. Generate enough to save for long-term goals and happiness.
2) Not harm the identities of those who I used.
And, of course, not get fucking caught.
Generally, I planned this out by attacking many targets for small amounts, maybe a hundred dollars or less. If I hit six to ten targets a month, that'd be anywhere from $600 to $1000 extra a month. Which was enough.
There were a lot of technical details that I had to plan for. I couldn't keep using my store: it was too obvious and the police would be on me in a month easily. I also couldn't use the same city. Some debit cards wouldn't let you withdraw cash without a pin. I got lucky the first time. And, what if the customer didn't have $100 in their account?
I had to look at contingencies for contingencies.
I also had to set rules for myself.
Don't use an ATM. Don't use cards in stores that have cameras. Stay with crowds and look for cameras outside each store, like in the parking lots. Don't deposit the cash you took into your own bank account. Don't put it in a safety deposit box either. All kinds of rules based on my research and contingency planning.
I bought a pen-camera off of ebay which I used while going to the store. I used it to film the person in front of me obscurely. I always got in line behind a man, too.
When they pulled their card out, they often held it around their chest, like they wanted people to see their card. Rarely did people try to obscure their pins.
At home, I would pull the video from my camera for the day and hope that at least one card was legible enough that I could extract the card number, expiration date, and name.
A lot of people like to stand in line with their card on the counter until it's their time to pay. Or they hold it over the card reader like it's a race and they're waiting for the gun to fire. It's ridiculously easy for someone like me to extract that info with a camera.
I set up an account on the darkweb where I would submit the card information, and a shiny, newly printed debit or credit card would show up in the mail. They routed the envelope through a network of darkweb "MailMen" so the envelope never even used the actual postal service.
I would scuff the card up a bit, validate the data on my own card reader that I purchased through another darkweb service, and queue it up for use.
I had a queue system so the cards were never used in perfect order, and were used a few months after I had snatched their information.
I was grabbing information in stores that had cameras, so I wanted there to be time between when I grabbed it and when I used it. Sometimes this meant that the card went out of service before I could use it. But I was collecting enough cards that it didn't matter.
I had no way to know if the cards would work, so before going to pay, I would have a contact buy a song on an obscure site using the card. It was a site that didn't require the security code printed on the back of regular cards, since I didn't have those codes.
My phone would buzz after the transaction went through or failed, and I'd know whose card was next to be used. I'd get in, pay, withdraw cash, take the receipt, then leave.
After each money run, I'd burn all the evidence and hide my cash.
I had a good contingency plan for if a cashier asked for my ID. It was too expensive to get an ID for every card I planned to use once. So, I had my acting always ready to go.
"Can I see your ID?"
"Crap, that's my boyfriend's card, he's out in the car. We're just getting cash to pay the neighborhood kid who takes care of our lawn."
If the cashier asked me to go and get my "boyfriend", I'd leave the store and never come back. But they always bought the excuse. And apparently I play a gay guy pretty well. Who would've thought?
 
I know what you're probably thinking.
"God damn, Michael, get to the important parts! Blah, blah blah!"
I don't get to brag much about what I've done and how clever it was, so I'm taking my last opportunity before I'm probably shot. So fuck off.
During all of this, where it went on for three months without so much as a hiccup, I was doing other research.
I was making more money, but those needs came back again and I found myself needing more. How could I make money faster? I'd ask myself that all the time, and skim the darkweb for methods that would work for me.
That's when I turned to credit card fraud of the mail-in card variety. A new formula for making money right this second began to form.
I used a feature of the MailMan darkweb service to set up a mailing address that would forward all mail to me. Then, I went online and bought a few hundred sets of personal data that were probably hacked from some company's database.
Using this personal data, I signed up for three to four credit cards for each person. With those cards, I bought things online that I already intended to purchase for myself. Once the items arrived, I paid off the balance on the credit cards with my hard-earned money using prepaid cards that I bought with cash.
Then, after a month or two of using the card, I would withdraw $100 in cash at a store. And then I'd store the card in my hiding place, never to be used again.
If anyone ever looked at their credit reports and saw the credit card, it would look suspicious and odd, but would only be a $100 balance. They would, hopefully, just pay it off, close the card, and stop caring. Besides, my use of the card boosted their credit score. I paid the bills and fees on time, and kept the card open as long as I could afford, paying the yearly premium out of my own pocket. It was my way of saying thanks that they'd never hear.
You give me some money, I help you boost your credit score. A symbiotic relationship.
I even thought I'd earned the title of "ethical credit card scammer." No one, especially not the police, would see it that way, but that's how I justified my actions to myself.
My mistake came from not researching my "clients" before I used their identity and their card.
That's what got me caught.
But not by the police.
 
I'd gotten used to the current routine to the point where I could do it in my sleep. I was making good money, much better compared to before. I kept my job as a store manager, and it felt so much more fulfilling because I was making the money I needed overall, and had something to look forward to: the thrill of identity theft.
After some cautious planning, I rented out a nice, two-story duplex in one of my "client's" names and credit score. I kept my payments on-time and was the perfect tenant. The duplex's owner only did a soft pull on this client's credit, so it wouldn't show up on their credit report.
Regardless, I had a contact on the darkweb set up some monitoring for this identity online. He assured me that if anything went wacky with the credit that made it seem like the client was suspicious or investigating, I'd get a text. I wanted a heads up if I needed to ditch my place.
One month. It only took one month for them to find me. In the digital world, you would think one month was a long time, but it was too short for me. Too unexpected.
I was in bed, sleeping, when I heard the front door squeak open. My eyes shot open. A million fears and thoughts ran through my head. It didn't matter if it was just a thief or the FBI. Either way, the police would be involved, and I'd be caught.
I rolled out of bed silently. Watching my half-open bedroom door, I grabbed my sheets and spread them tight across my bed. I wanted to make it look like no one was home. Snatching my wallet and keys from the bedside table, I dropped to the ground and rolled under my bed. The boxes I kept under the bed for storage hid me from view once I arranged them.
Footsteps came up the stairs. I wished I'd thought to buy a gun. But buying a gun took heavy background checks, and I hadn't figured out how to bypass those yet.
Heavy boots tried to sneak down the hall. I saw two of them, one behind the other. Both black and menacing. They moved like they had training, but not much. From the way the floor bent under each step, they were both probably heavy around the belly.
The door opened as they entered the room. Upon seeing the empty bed, they paused, unsure of what to do next.
One of them whispered, loud enough that I could hear.
"Not home."
"So we wait."
I bit my lip and cursed internally. They were looking for me, whoever they were. Probably not cops: they wore jeans, not uniforms. They could be plainclothes, sure, but I just felt that they weren't cops.
I heard the front door squeak again, but the two men were too busy whispering to notice. I wondered if the door was just open in the wind.
My reply came in the form of a voice from the hall.
"Evening, fellas. Hands where I can see them."
Shit. A cop.
This guy's feet moved gracefully under him. Definitely trained.
Suddenly, the two men rushed the cop, and I watched him fall as they shoved their way past him. Through the dimness, I could see that it wasn't a cop at all. It was Jack, my neighbor across the street. He was ex-military, like me, though he'd been in the service a lot longer than I had.
I heard the front door fly open and slam shut as the two would-be thieves left the house. Jack stayed on the ground, sighing. He probably figured that pursuit wasn't worth the trouble.
I weighed my options before finally pushing boxes out of the way and crawling out from under the bed. Jack watched, surprised.
"You were under there the whole time?" He asked.
"They weren't here long, thanks to you."
Jack eyed my perfectly made bed, then where I'd crawled from.
"Smart tactic for hiding. I'll have to remember that one."
"Thanks."
We stood in the dark for a minute, feeling awkward for different reasons.
"Listen..." I said. "I'm grateful that you came and chased these assholes out, but can we not call the police? They didn't take anything, I'm not hurt, and I really don't want to deal with the hassle."
Jack chuckled. "I was about to ask you the same thing."
I looked at him in confusion. He lifted his gun, pointing it at the ceiling and showing it to me. It was a 92FS Beretta. Sleek, shiny, and well oiled.
"This girl here is illegal for me to have. I have a small rap sheet from before the military, but am still not allowed to own a gun of my own. So, I'm going to agree that we don't involve the cops."
"It's beautiful," I said, trying not to gasp from relief.
"She sure is," he grinned.
"Jack, thank you," I said, extending my hand.
"Any time," he said, shaking my hand.
 
I wondered for a few days about those thieves. There's no way they broke into my house by random chance. They were looking for me: they'd verbally confirmed that.
So who were they? Why did they want me?
I thought myself into dead end after dead end. There wasn't anything I could do until I had more information. And yet, I had no way to get more information.
I was stuck in limbo until they tried again, if they truly were looking for me, or until I could stop double checking my locks at night.
 
One night, as I lay in bed reading a book as usual, my phone rang. The duplex had actually come with a cordless phone system, which was humorous considering our cell-phone dominated world.
I answered it, not knowing who it was.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Neale. Listen, just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a weird car that's been parked outside my house for hours. People were lying down and taking a nap for a while, but perked up when you got home. Now they've got cameras aimed at your house. Don't come to the window and try to look, they'll see. I just wanted to call and tell you that before I go and talk to them."
What the hell. Breaking in is one thing, but now surveillance?
Who did they think I was?
Unfortunately, that was the question I should have pursued long before things got worse.
"Did you get their license plate?" I asked.
"And their make and model."
"Can I have it before you talk to them?"
"Sure," Jack said.
He gave me the info, and I told him I'd call him back in a bit. To his credit, Jack didn't even question what I was doing or why I wasn't freaking out and calling the cops.
I connected to Tor and sought out a darkweb site that had a backdoor into my state's DMV registration database. Only one or two states have those backdoors, and mine is one of them. Lucky for me.
I put in the license plate number and the results came back. I paid my $25 fee with the usual Bitcoin, and opened the word doc that came back.
Registered to one Charles B. Matsworth. With an address across the state from me. The database backdoor didn't transmit images, so I couldn't compare their driver's license photo with the people in the car. I was either dealing with Charles himself, or a stolen vehicle. Helpful, but also potentially not.
I hit up another darkweb site and searched for Charles. I paid my fee, then the results populated. Except there were no results. There were ALWAYS results, but this guy's name wasn't there. Which was impossible with this site. It passively picked up every name tossed around the internet and provided you with links to where it was mentioned.
But there were no results. Which means someone was actively scrubbing this guy's name from the web.
So, that's when I knew he was one of you, darkweb.
I hit redial on my home phone and got Jack back on the line. It was just past 11pm.
"Hey, Neale," he answered.
"Hey," I said, resisting the urge to peer through the blinds. "I can't look, obviously, but have you seen anything else helpful about them?"
Jack paused, probably looking out the window. "Passenger is a heavy smoker: there's a small pile of cigarette butts on his side and he's smoking one right now. They've got some Arby's wrappers on their front dash. Driver is using a telescopic lens on a pretty expensive camera. Canon, I think. Two coffee cups from a gas station in the cup holders. Car looks pretty new, just a little dust. If you took it through a car wash, it would probably shine. I'm guessing it's a new model."
I listened to him observe them, spouting off anything that he thought might be useful.
"Any of that help you out?" He asked.
"Maybe," I said, trying to think what I should do. Scare them off and let them know I'm onto them? Let them sit there and spy, hoping they don't decide to physically enter? Leave out the back? My bedroom light was on, so they knew I was home. My shadow had probably played against it a few times tonight too.
This was a situation I didn't have a contingency for.
"You should come over to my house. Sneak out around back, walk a block over, and come in through my back door," Jack said. "We can spy on the spies."
I considered it. Last time, we had scared off the thieves and not gotten any useful information. This was the most useful situation since that night. I should take advantage of it.
"Okay, I'll do that," I said. I gave him my mobile phone number so he could use that instead of the home phone.
I made my way to the back door and left, locking it behind me. Going straight back and over the back fence, I went to the next street over, then jogged three streets down to crawl through someone else's yard and into Jack's. He was waiting at the sliding glass door when I got there.
"No movement, they're still staring at the house and talking occasionally."
"Any idea what they're saying?" I asked, hopeful.
"Nope."
I walked into his living room, and found his setup. He had a pair of binoculars on a coffee table, and a few slats of his blinds were held open by paper clips.
"Have a look," he said, waving me into the room. "Need some water?"
"Yes, please," I said, picking up the binoculars.
Through the blinds, I saw the two men in their car, both heads turned towards my house. It was exactly as Jack had described. The streetlight was far away, so I couldn't make out hair colors, but one had longer hair than the other. That was about all I could make out.
Jack appeared beside me and set a glass of water on the table.
"Recognize them?" He asked.
"No," I muttered, setting down the binoculars.
"You in some kind of trouble, Neale? Borrow money from the wrong guys? Or are these just private investigators from your ex-wife trying to track you down for child support?"
Jack's tone was light and joking. He honestly didn't seem to give a shit what kind of trouble I was in.
"Not that I know of," I said weakly, turning back to the window.
"Maybe they're after the guy who lived there before me?"
"Could be," Jack said, sitting on the couch.
I turned back around to face him while he watched me with the slightest smile on his face.
"Thank you, again, for helping me figure this out," I said.
"I haven't had this much fun since my last tour. I haven't had any action since. This is exciting and refreshing, Jack. I'm happy to help."
I nodded, taking a seat as well, but keeping the window within sight.
"So, it's not money, it's not women. Is it drugs? No judgement from me, man."
"No drugs either," I said, trying to do my own thought process. For half a second, I considered telling Jack about myself. Then I realized how asinine of an idea that was. He'd probably kick my ass for stealing.
"I say we watch 'em. We won't learn anything by running out there and scaring them off. But maybe they'll do something that gives us an idea of what they're up to," Jack said. It was the same conclusion I'd come to, so I agreed.
We watched them in silence for about an hour. I was perfectly okay not talking to Jack, and he seemed okay not talking to me. We took turns at the window, and if something interesting seemed to start happening, we'd wave the other one over to look.
Nothing interesting happened until almost 1am.
They both got out of their seats and exited the car. Each one stretched, then pulled pistols out of their belts. They examined their guns, cocked them, and made their way to my house, side by side.
I waved Jack over, and he watched them try my front door, find it locked, then go around back.
"I have an idea," Jack hissed, suddenly shoving something into my hand. His Beretta.
"If they come out, open the front door and yell to me. If they start shooting, you shoot back. Give me cover to get back into the house."
"What are you doing?!" I hissed back as he grabbed at the front door.
"Getting some information!" He said before shutting the door.
I watched him drop to a low crouch and crab-walk his way to their car, which was parked at the edge of his sidewalk. The passenger window was open from the smoker, so he leaned into the car and rustled around.
I watched my house, heart beating sharply. I saw a shadow pass by my bedroom window. They would have found me not in bed by now. They could be leaving soon.
I made my way to the front door and opened it a crack.
"Jack!" I whispered. "They made it to my bedroom! Hurry up!"
I shut the door, and ran back to the window, careful not to disturb the blinds. With the binoculars, I inspected my house. The figure was still by my window, and Jack was still rummaging through the car.
The figure moved away from my window, and I dashed back to the door.
"They're coming!" I called. Jack didn't waste time. He got up and bolted for the door. I shut the front door as he entered, and we both went to the window. The men came back around my house and got back into their car.
I thought they would wait around until I came home, but the car started, and they drove away.
We both watched the tail lights disappear.
When they were gone, I turned back to Jack, who had dumped handfuls what he was carrying onto the coffee table.
"Receipts," he said. "I didn't see any badges for policemen or private detectives. Car is registered to Charles B. Matsworth, but the address is blurred out on the papers."
I blurted out half the address before I caught myself. Jack looked at me funny, but didn't ask.
"I guess grabbing the receipts was useless," he chuckled. "I was gonna say we could plot the receipts on a map and try to figure out where they came from."
"That's still a good idea," I said. "That address is for Charles, not necessarily where these guys came from."
"Pretty sure these guys are criminal. Sure you don't want to hand this off to the police?" Jack asked.
My heart skipped a beat, and I tried to sound nonchalant.
"No, I don't want to get the police involved unless it's serious."
Jack laughed out loud. "They pulled guns, then went into your house in the middle of the night. I'd say it's pretty serious, Neale."
"Okay, okay, I'll level with you," I said. "I've done some stuff and still have an outstanding warrant. If I go to the cops, I'll be arrested." That was enough of the truth to be a convincing argument.
Jack pondered that for a bit.
"What'd you do?" He asked.
"Unpaid speeding ticket," I said quickly with a shrug. "50 in a 35. That was a few months ago. If I go now, before paying the ticket, I'll probably get arrested."
Jack nodded with a slight smile. "Okay, Neale. We'll investigate it ourselves until you get your ticket paid. Then we'll get the police involved."
I swallowed hard.
I didn't intend to ever get the police involved. So I had to resolve this fast.
 
Part 2
Part 3
submitted by darkwebidentity to nosleep [link] [comments]

Complete List of Echo/ Alexa 'skills'....

I was googling a Echo skills list and came across this thread. I am new to Reddit and this is my 1st post ever . I went thru the skills list on the Echo app, it is now 31 pages long.
Most of the skills are still crap, a few are small audience. Anyway, here is the complete list of skills as compiled by me from the Echo app over the last day or 3:
(it was a PIA getting this list formatted to Reddit rules and it has to be split into 2 posts. Hope it works out right....)
Amazon Alexa Skills An Alphabetical Listing
1-2-3 Math
Alexa, Open one two three
Tests your elementary mathematics topics like after, before, between; greater or lesser, more or less, addition, subtraction etc.
1-Minute Mindfulness
Alexa, Ask Mindfulness for a minute meditation
allows you to take a break from the world around you & enter into a one minute sound meditation.
21 Dayz
Alexa, start 21 Dayz
As the saying goes, it takes at least 21 days to build a habit. Use 21 Dayz to help guide you in your journey to developing new business or personal habits.
4AFart
Alexa, Ask For A Fart
Have all the fun of a fart without any of the smell.
7-Minute Workout
Alexa, start seven minute workout
Are you ready to lead a happier, healthier life? Get your heart moving and reduce stress in only seven minutes a day.
7Sigma
Alexa, ask 7 Sigma for my update
Get concise updates on all elements of your operation and infrastructure based on combined data from multiple sources.
Abra
Alexa start Akinator
Abra is a character-guessing game. Think of a character, real or fictional, and Abra will ask you questions and figure out who it is.
AccuWeather
Alexa, start AccuWeather
Stay connected to the latest in weather forecasting with AccuWeather – Weather for Life. Ask for weather alerts, sunrise, sunset, moonset, moonrise & moon phases
Acoustic Metronome
Alexa, open metronome
Having trouble keeping the beat? TsaTsaTzu can help you keep your groove with a nice acoustical drum beat to help you keep time.
Admirer
Alexa, tell my admirer to make me smile
Make your day better with a compliment
Adventure
Alexa, open adventure and play dave of doom
The Adventure skill enables you to interact with stories and change their ending.
Age Calculator
Alexa, ask Age Calculator, how old is someone born on [June 12, 2015]?
The Age Calculator helps calculate age between a given date and now.
Agog Reader * Alexa, ask Agog Reader for [Barack Obama]*
Listen to Tweets
Amazing Word Master Game
Alexa, ask Word Master to play a game
interactive way to learn and challenge yourself with words, while having fun with competing scores. Score higher to win.
Angry Bard
Alexa, ask Angry Bard for a burn
Have at you, knave! The Angry Bard skill is ready to throw barbs from the Bard anytime you like.
Animal Game
Alexa, start Animal Game
Play guess-an-animal game with Alexa. Think of an animal and Alexa will guess it by asking questions.
Animal Sounds
Alexa, ask Animal Sounds what noise a lion says.
Alexa is learning a few new languages, animal languages that is. Ask Alexa to make the sounds your favorite animal makes.
AnyMote Smart Remote
Alexa, ask AnyMote to pause my Sonos
Turn your voice into a real universal remote. Alexa, tell AnyMote to power on my TV.
AOL
Alexa, ask AOL for the top headlines
AOL provides you the information that you need to know to stay informed and up to date covering these categories: news, sports, finance, entertainment
Apollo - God of Music
Alexa, ask Apollo to tell me a fact
Shares music related facts and lets you know who are the hottest artists of the week.
APRS
Alexa, use APRS and locate [kilo victor six mike dash seven]
Locate APRS stations
Area Code
Alexa, ask Area Code where is [eight six zero]
Area Code Lookup
Ask Daddy
Alexa, ask Daddy for a hug
provides comic relief as it realistically responds to questions asked by his child.
Ask Earthquakes
Alexa, Ask earthquakes what's shakin'
Recent earthquake information
Ask Grandmom
Alexa, ask Grandmom for candy
provides comic relief as it realistically responds to questions asked by her grandchild.
Ask My Buddy
Alexa, ask My Buddy to help me get started
provides an easy and immediate way to send a text message, Voice call, and an email alert message to any or all of your contacts.
AskAboutTrump
Alexa, ask Trump how do you feel about [Rosie O'Donnel]
Ask Donald Trump a question
Athan
Alexa, ask Daily Prayers for prayer times in [Seattle]
Athan provides the Islamic Prayer Times in a given city.
Audio Goal
Alexa, ask Audio Goal for a goal
Celebrate a goal - or anything else - with a classic audio "GOOOOOL" sound.
Automatic
Alexa, ask Automatic where my car is
Find out where your car is parked, how much gas you have left, or how far you've driven recently. This skill requires an Automatic adapter.
Aviation Weather Brief
Alexa, ask Aviation Weather what is the metar for [KSMO]
Aviation Weather METAR's & Flight Rules
Baby Names
Alexa, open Baby Names
Ask about the popularity of names in the US going back to 1880
BART Status
Alexa, open BART Status
Gets current BART service advisories
BART Times
Alexa, open BART Times
Provides the times of the next trains between your home and destination stations and gives live Service Advisories and Elevator status information.
Baseball Archive
Alexa, ask Baseball Archive about [Willie Mays]
Get information and statistics for any player in the history of Major League Baseball.
Basket Savings
Alexa, ask Basket if whole milk is on sale near [Des Moines, IA.]
Find local sale prices for your favorite grocery items.
BatteryBoot
Alexa, ask battery boot where to buy it?
Everything you need to know about the Battery Boot which is the best and only battery Boot for your Echo.
Bean Jar - family rewards system
Alexa, tell Bean Jar to add ten points to [Gryffindor]
Manage a family or group rewards system, keeps track of points like a virtual "bean jar" for motivation. See beanjar.net
Beat Cylinder
Alexa, launch Beat Cylinder
Alexa shows off her beat-boxing skills. Ask for a beat by name ("phat", "old school", "electronic", etc.) or "random".
Beat The Dealer
Alexa, ask the dealer to deal the cards
Beat the dealer in this game of Blackjack.
Beer Trivia
Alexa, launch Beer Trivia
Think you know beer? Crack open a cold one and test your beer and brewing knowledge with Beer Trivia
Best Picture Oscars The Last 30 Years
Alexa, start Best Picture Oscars
Best Picture Oscars for the last 30 years
BF Helper
Alexa, ask Basic Fantasy to roll a [Thief]
A companion Skill for Basic Fantasy RPG players.
Bible
Alexa, ask the Bible App to read [John3 verse16]
The Bible App for Alexa can read Bible verses and chapters to you in your favorite Bible version.
Big Game Ultimate Trivia Quiz
Alexa, start Big Game
It's the 50th anniversary of football's biggest game. Test your Big Game knowledge with the ultimate Big Game trivia quiz
Bingo
Alexa, open Bingo
Alexa will call the numbers for you. Each number is repeated and sent to the Alexa app as well. Get a free Bingo card at lovemyecho.com.
BioRhythm
Alexa, open BioRhythm.
Calculate your natural biorhythm for today for entertainment purposes.
Bitcoin Price
Alexa, tell me the current Bitcoin price
Returns the current price of a Bitcoin in US dollars from coindesk.com
Bitcoin Price Checker
Alexa, open Bitcoin Price Checker
Check the Bitcoin exchange rate.
Bitcoin Rate
Alexa, open Bitcoin Rate
Provides the current value of 1BTC in your preferred base currency, along with useful Bitcoin market data.
Block World Trivia
Alexa ask Block World Trivia
Ask Alexa to help you show off your crafting skills by answering over 30 different multiple choice questions.
Booze Trivia
Alexa, launch Booze Trivia
Fun trivia about alcohol to impress your friends
Bubble Boy
Alexa, ask Bubble Boy to tell me a joke
The Bubble Boy skill tells a funny quote from the popular sitcom - Seinfeld.
Buddy for Destiny
Alexa, ask my ghost what's Xur selling
Provides useful information like Xur inventory and weekly activities to Destiny players.
Bulls and Cows game
Alexa, tell Bulls Cows to start a game
Bulls and Cows game as described here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulls_and_Cows
Calculator
Alexa, ask calculator for [nine plus five]
Let your echo help you do the calculation, it is cool and you won't make mistake.
Call Sign
Alexa load Call Sign and find [november zero uniform sierra mike]
Look up Amateur (HAM) radio call sign information from the call sign database.
Campbell's Kitchen
Alexa, ask Campbell's Kitchen what's for dinner
Your kitchen just got a whole lot smarter. Make dinnertime easy with a daily Top-5 list of triple-tested recipes, selected for your tastes and time preferences.
Capital Quiz
Alexa, tell Capital Quiz to start practicing
Helps you practice and then quizzes you on the names of the capital cities of all 50 US states.
Cat Facts
Alexa, open Cat Facts
Tells you a fact about feline friends.
Cat Raiser
Alexa, ask cat raiser how is my cat
Raise your e-cat living in Alexa.
CheerLights
Alexa open cheer lights
Find out what color the World feels like right now.
Children's Bible Quiz
Alexa open Children's Bible Quiz
Simple Bible Quiz
Christmas Caroler
Alexa, tell Christmas Caroler to spread holiday cheer
Listen to Alexa and learn the lyrics to some yuletide favorites.
Code Phrase Generator
Alexa, ask for a code phrase
Generate a code phrase for your next top secret project.
Combat
Alexa, open combat and hit the dragon with my sword
Allows you to engage in any sort of conflict with entertaining results.
CompliBot
Alexa, open CompliBot
It wants nothing more than to make your day a little bit better.
Conductor
Alexa, ask conductor to get status for the [7] train
Get information on your commute. So far supports NYC subway/LIRMetroNorth status (NYC bus coming soon).
Conversation Starter
Alexa, open Conversation Starter
Great way to get suggested conversation topics for you and your friends.
Convrge
Alexa, ask Convrge, who's online
Find out who's online at in Convrge
CookBook
Alexa, ask cook book how to [make a burger]
This skills allow users to find recipes - ingredients, cook steps, health info etc
Covisint Trivia
Alexa, launch Cove Trivia
Game that will test your knowledge about the Covisint company. Good luck.
Craft Helper
Alexa, ask Craft Helper what's the recipe for [a saddle]
Can't remember exactly how to craft an enchantment table or a dropper in Minecraft? Craft helper can give you the recipe fast.
Cricket Quiz
Alexa, launch cricket quiz
This is a trivia game for cricket game lovers.
CryptoCurrency
Alexa, ask my crypto what is the price of bitcoin?
Get the current price of bitcoin right now. All you have to do is ask and the current exchange rate is announced.
Crystal Ball
Alexa, launch Crystal Ball
A fortune teller skill. Alexa prompts you to first focus on a yes/no question, and then say when you're ready to hear the answer.
Currency Converter
Alexa, ask Currency Converter to convert [twenty dollars to euros]
Alexa is able to convert 10 kind of currencies from the world and tell you the current currency exchange too. Ask Alexa to convert from one currency to another.
D.C. Tech Cal
Alexa ask D.C. Tech for news
Read the latest news and events from the Washington D.C. tech scene.
Daily Affirmation
Alexa, open Daily Affirmation
The Walking Affirmations Daily Affirmation skill provides a daily uplifting, positive thought for you to take throughout the day.
Daily Word
Alexa open Daily Word
Selects a new word for every day of the year.
DC Metro
Alexa, ask DC Metro for the next train arriving at [Columbia Heights]
Gives Washington DC Metro light rail train arrival and departure times, as well as maintenance or incident reports.
Demotivate Me
Alexa, open demotivate
Tired of everyone lying to you? This skill will tell you the truth.
Dice Bag
Alexa, tell Dice Bag to roll for me
Board game missing dice? Random encounter? Dice Bag will roll for you, complete with dice rolling sounds.
Dino Trivia
Alexa, open dino trivia
A humorous dinosaur trivia game. Echo asks questions and you answer by choosing 1,2,3,4. Dinosaur questions include real and silly answers.
Dog Facts
Alexa, tell me a dog fact
Get daily Dog Facts
DogeCoin
Alexa Start Dogecoin
Get the spot price of DogeCoin, one of the top crypto-currencies worldwide
Domain Name Info
Alexa, launch domain name info
Locate different DNS record information for a given domain name
Domino's Pizza
Alexa, open Domino’s
Place your Domino's Easy Order or your most recent order. You can also ask for Domino’s Tracker® updates to find out the current status of your order.
DrinkBoy
Alexa, ask Drink Boy what is the recipe for [a sidecar]
Provides recipes for over 200 popular cocktails.
Drive Time
Alexa, launch Drive Time
Drive Time gets you the travel time to your destinations.
Drop Some Knowledge
Alexa, ask drop some knowledge to tell me about [Abraham Lincoln]
Uses the Google Knowledge Graph API to drop some knowledge about anyone / anything.
Edgar Facts
Alexa, tell me an Edgar fact
Edgar Facts is for anyone who loves Edgar the dog and can't get enough of that adorable bugg. Brighten your day with fun facts about Edgar
EGR Lunch Bot
Alexa, ask lunch bot what's for lunch today
Hot lunch for East Grand Rapids Public Schools (all elementary schools).
Elf Trivia
Alexa, open 'Elf Trivia'
Love the holidays? Elf Trivia is a fun, light-hearted multiple choice game for 1 player.
Eliza
Alexa, start Eliza
Is something on your mind? Ask ELIZA (pronounced "ih-L-AY-z-uh") to talk to you for a psychotherapy session.
ELLE Horoscopes
Alexa, ask Horoscope what is the horoscope for [Gemini]
Get every sign's horoscope for today. Find out if the moon's position presents any new opportunities
Email Assistant
Alexa, open Email Assistant
Alexa + Email = the only assistant you can ask about upcoming travel from mail. Coming soon ask where your Amazon package is and much more is on the way
Esports Ticker
Alexa, ask Esports Ticker for live matches
Get recent matches, upcoming matches, and live matches in the world of esports.
Essential Trivia
Alexa, open Essential Trivia
Essential Trivia
Event Guide
Alexa, ask Event Guide what's going on today in [city name]
Get event listings from www.Bandsintown.com.
Famous Quotes
Alexa, ask Famous Quotes to tell me quote
Simple skill that reads you famous quotes from history and movies.
Fantasy Football
Alexa, ask Fantasy Football Nerd for headlines
Retrieve fantasy football news and player updates on the Top 300 players directly from Fantasy Football Nerd.
Fidelity Investments
Alexa, Ask Fidelity to get a quote for [Amazon]
Ask Fidelity Quote Lookup and Market Update
Five Card Draw
Alexa, start five card draw
play classic Five Card Draw card game
FlightSearch
Alexa, Ask Flight Search
Search DOMESTIC U.S. flights for lowest price, one way or round trip. Say "Ask Flight Search". Top 5 flights sent to your Alexa app.
Focus Word
Alexa, open Focus Word
Focus Word provides an inspirational word and statement about the word to serve as a point of focus for meditation or for the day.
Football Trivia
Alexa, open Football Trivia
Trivia game asking questions that pertain to professional American Football.
For The Loft Cinema
Alexa, Ask Loft Cinema What is playing now
Allows users to inquire about movies playing at the Loft Cinema (in Tucson, Arizona) for today or the upcoming days.
Fortune
Alexa, open fortune
Read a random, hopefully interesting, adage.
Fortune Cookie
Alexa, open Fortune Cookie
Get a fortune cookie, read to you and receive your own Mega Millions or Powerball numbers.
Founding Father Quotes
Alexa, ask founding fathers for a quote
Get quotes from our Founding Fathers, the political philosophers who inspired them, and their modern successors.
FreeBusy Scheduling Buddy
Alexa, ask FreeBusy to see if Paula is free [Tuesday]
Easiest way to share availability across calendars and coordinate meetings (for free). Check when you own contacts are available
Freedom Quotes
Alexa, ask freedom quotes for a quote
Get freedom-themed quotes
Game Dice
Alexa, ask game dice to roll [three ten siders]
Use Game Dice to have Alexa roll dice of various sizes for you.
Garageio
Alexa, tell Garageio to close my door
Garageio is the simple and secure way to control and monitor your
garage door from anywhere in the world, all without needing to replace your existing opener.
Geek Games
Alexa launch geek games
Geek games is trivia skill to test your knowledge of random geeky facts of the Eighties and beyond
Geek Trivia
Alexa, ask a geek
Asks you 5 trivia questions per game. It’s a fun way to test your geek knowledge of a famous movie or TV show.
GLaDOS Quotes
Alexa, ask Glados to tell me something
Get quotes GLaDOS from Valve's Portal.
Glympse
Alexa, ask Glympse where is [Sylvia]?
Allows family and friends to temporarily share their live location and ETA with each other. Just ask Alexa for a friend's location to get started.
Gold Bug
Alexa, ask Gold Bug what's the price of [gold/silveoil]
Get the latest closing day prices for gold, silver and oil with Gold Bug
Gridiron Trivia
Alexa, launch Gridiron Trivia
Test your knowledge of the Gridiron's winners and MVPs.
Guess The Number
Alexa, launch Guess The Number
See how many tries it takes you to guess a random number between 1 and 100. Alexa will tell you to guess higher or lower until you get it.
Guide for ARK
Alexa, open ARK Guide
Guide for ARK
Guitar Tuner
Alexa, ask Guitar Tuner to tune my guitar
Use Guitar Tuner to tune your guitar.
Hacker News
Alexa, open Hacker News
Read Hacker News headlines.
Hacker News Stories
Alexa, ask hacker news for top stories
Stay up to date with the latest stories about technology, business,
and entrepreneurship.
Hacking History Trivia
Alexa, start Hacking History
Hacking History Trivia challenges you with fun and interesting questions about the history of computing and hacking
Haiku
Alexa, ask Haiku for a poem
Haiku poem generator.
Hanker
Alexa, ask Hanker what I should do in [New York] tonight
Hanker is your go to local event guide for all that's happening in your city. From the arts, to parties, to date night and more, Hanker has everything you need.
Happy Birthday
Alexa, launch Happy Birthday
Alexa sings (raps?) Happy Birthday. Tell your Echo the name of the lucky birthday girl or boy and Alexa does the rest. A variety of surprising song variations.
HawkBus
Alexa, ask Hawk Bus about [7252]
Get the time until the next bus arrives at a specified bus stop in the Iowa City area.
Hebcal
Alexa, ask Hebcal when is [Passover]?
Jewish holidays, Hebrew date converter, Shabbat candle-lighting times, weekly Torah portion, and Omer counter.
Hey Dad - Dad Jokes
Alexa, open Hey Dad and tell me a joke
Tell me a dad joke
High Low Guessing Game
Alexa, open High Low
This is the number guessing game of “higher or lower.” In this game, Alexa chooses a number and you try to guess it or you can play the other way around.
HomeSeer Home Automation Skill
Alexa, tell HomeSeer to turn on the kitchen light
Allows HomeSeer home automation system users to control and monitor status of their devices and to launch their automation events using the Amazon Echo
House Band
Alexa, launch house band
House Band allows you to access your JRiver Media Center music server. You can play your music, search your library, and create Play Doctor playlists.
HuffPost
Alexa, ask HuffPost for headlines
Get headlines from The Huffington Post
Impossibly Hard Major League Baseball Quiz
Alexa, launch Impossible Baseball Quiz
You should not take this baseball quiz. It may be the hardest baseball quiz in history. If it's not, it's still really, really hard
IndianFacts
Alexa, ask Indian Guy to tell me an Indian fact
This skill tell you interesting facts about India which most people don't know.
Innkeeper Emotes for Hearthstone
Alexa, ask the innkeeper to say hello to the mage
Welcome to my inn. You can talk to your favorite Hearthstone heroes, and they'll emote back.
InsultiBot
Alexa, open InsultiBot
InsultiBot is so tired of talking to you. All it wants is for you to leave it alone. Is that too much to ask?
Iris
Alexa, ask Iris to holler at [John]
Say the command, “Alexa, ask Iris to holler at [name of recipient]” and Iris will send a pre-composed e-mail, asking the recipient to holler back.
ISY
Alexa, open izzy
ISY skill allows you to control your home using an ISY home-automation controller.
ITIL Foundation Quiz
Alexa, open I till Foundation Quiz
Sharpen your ITIL Foundation knowledge or supplement your certification preparation with the assistance of this practice quiz.
JavaScript Quiz
Alexa, Launch JavaScript Quiz
JavaScript Quiz tests you knowledge of the most popular development language.
Jazz Trivia
Alexa, start Jazz Trivia
Test your knowledge of jazz music.
Jeopardy! J6
Alexa, Play Jeopardy
Every Jeopardy! category has an “extra” clue written. Play these clues in the J6 game on Echo.
Jokes++: Computer Science Jokes
Alexa, ask Jokes Plus Plus for a computer science joke
An expansion of Alexa's cheesy jokes for all you CS majors out there.
Kasa
Alexa, ask Kasa to turn the lights on
Kasa is a simple way to manage your home from anywhere.
KCRW On Air
Alexa, ask KCRW what's playing
Gives you the current program or track playing on KCRW radio.
Knock Knock Jokes
Alexa, ask knock knock
Knock, knock! Who's there? The best collection of knock-knock jokes
for the Amazon Echo you could imagine.
L Train
Alexa, ask the L Train when it's coming?
When the next train is coming to your NYC MTA L train stop, and listen to the current L train status.
submitted by nola-t1k1 to amazonecho [link] [comments]

Weekly Roundup

News roundup for the previous week.
In International news
  1. Unstable Geopolitics, Pakistan’s Alliance with China: Trump’s Backlash against Pakistan Reveals the Dawn of a Disputed 2018 Year
  2. American Girl, 16, charged with killing 74-year-old Chinese grandpa as he took out trash
  3. President Macron calls for French-China cooperation on Silk Road, climate
  4. Macron vows active participation in Belt and Road initiative
  5. A dominant Nathan Chen cruised to a repeat U.S. Figure Skating Championship title in San Jose. Vincent Zhou grabbed the bronze medal with 273.83 points
  6. S. Korea seeks deeper cooperation with China, Japan in regulating cryptocurrencies
  7. Xi calls for deeper cooperation with Britain under Belt & Road Initiative
  8. China donates prefabricated houses for displaced people in #Myanmar's Rakhine state
  9. China: U.S. should curb demand for opioids, not blame us
  10. China key partner for #Cambodia in infrastructure development: Cambodian officials. "More than 2,000 km of roads, seven large bridges, and a new container terminal of the Phnom Penh Autonomous Port have been constructed under China's aid," Chanthol said
  11. Tariffs to be slashed in 2018 as China-Chile free trade agreement kicks in: Nearly 98 percent of products traded between China and #Chile will have zero tariffs attached when the new China-Chile free trade agreement is implemented in 2018
  12. UN chief lauds G77 and China's role in multilateralism, climate action
  13. Canada takes U.S. to WTO, U.S. says case helps China: Canada has launched a wide-ranging trade complaint against the United States, in a dispute that Washington said would damage Canada’s own interests and play into China’s hands
In Domestic news
  1. China keeps its promises, the country's anti-poverty drive is transforming the lives of rural communities by leaps
  2. High-speed rail network to cover 80% of major cities in China by 2020: total length of track capable of supporting high-speed trains will reach 38,000 kilometres by 2025 and 45,000 kilometres by 2030
  3. China's future cities will focus on sustainability, connectivity, and mobility.
  4. Second China-made C919 jet completes first trial flight
  5. 26 pct Chinese university students eager to start businesses: survey
  6. Chinese internet regulators scold Alibaba's Ant Financial for violating customer privacy through Sesame Credit
  7. Chinese Kids Who Eat Fish Every Week Have Higher IQs and Better Sleep, Study Says
  8. Chinese City Opens Up Spectacular 'Ice City' for International Snow Festival
  9. China is seeing signs of success in its fight against smog as pollution levels slump dramatically in the capital region Beijing.
  10. Marriott: China blocks website and app over description of Tibet and Taiwan
  11. Chinese Police Dynamite Christian Megachurch
  12. China to Plant New Forests the Size of Ireland This Year
  13. China cracks down on foreign companies calling Taiwan, other regions countries: The involvment of more than one Chinese authority in rebuking businesses across different industries suggested possible coordination at a high level of government
In SciTech news
  1. Asian-Chinese Engineering at work | How high speed railway tunnels are built
  2. GoPro quits the drone business (Got Nuked by China's DJI)
  3. China emerges as a hotbed for artificial intelligence: “We saw lots of interest in #AI in China, and the sector is moving so fast in the country” said Nicholson, CEO of Skymind. “China is home to many of the world’s top experts in AI and machine learning” wrote Fei-Fei Li, chief scientist for Google
  4. Beijing to break ground on new #AI science park this year: It will house about 400 enterprises after completion with an estimated annual output value of 50 billion yuan. Industries there will include ultra-high-speed big data, cloud computing, bio-metric identification and deep learning
  5. [Huawei’s CEO going off-script to rage at US carriers was the best speech of CES x-post
  6. How Huawei Can Break Apple and Samsung's Smartphone Grip
  7. Beijing to Pave Way for Autonomous Driving With New Test Road: The new testing road will pilot changes designed to make roads more easily recognizable to artificial intelligence
  8. DJI announced new $99 drone Tello. Why? Tello is only 80 grams, which means owners don't have to register their Tello (FAA require registration of all drones over 250 grams)
  9. A team of researchers with Nanjing University of Posts and Telecommunications, Nanjing Tech University and Northwestern Polytechnical University, all in China, has developed a new type of paper that can be erased and printed on multiple times.
  10. Ford CEO: China Will Take the Lead in Electric Vehicle Area
  11. Central China city to build 80,000 charging piles for electric cars
  12. China budgets over 13 bln yuan for major research programs in 2018: The programs consist of 40 special projects and more than 600 minor projects, covering four major fields including social development, high-tech research, agricultural science and technology, and fundamental research
  13. Google and Intel Beware: China Is Gunning for Dominance in #AI Chips. Buckets of money are available for the industry. With more than 750 million people online, China provides plenty of consumers and data for companies to use. AI chip competitors enjoy state support
  14. How This China Tech Company Is About To Change Everything You Know About VR
  15. #CES becomes the Chinese electronics show as Shenzhen, Dongguan exhibitors throng fair: As many as 1,551 Chinese companies registered to display their products and software applications in Las Vegas this week, out of a record turnout of 4,500 exhibitors
In Economic news
  1. Foreign Brands Have ‘Princess Syndrome,’ Says People’s Daily
  2. Iran Sanctions Will Help China's Petro-Yuan
  3. China on the verge of bursting bitcoin bubble
  4. China, the Innovation Dragon. Given its own policies, and those of the US, China is on track to become the world’s innovation leader. By the end of 2018, it will likely be apparent to all just how quickly and easily this latest chapter in the Chinese success story will be written.
  5. "Political pressure" reportedly kills Huawei/AT&T smartphone deal
  6. China Weighs Slowing or Halting Purchases of U.S. Treasuries
  7. China is reportedly thinking of halting US Treasury purchases and that's worrying markets
  8. China FX regulator: report on slowing US bond buying based on fake news
  9. Chinese Workers Abandon Silicon Valley for Riches Back Home
  10. The Cashless Society Has Arrived— Only It’s in China: Though the U.S. saw $112 billion of mobile payments in 2016, by a Forrester Research estimate, such payments in China totaled $9 trillion
  11. China just reminded the United States that Beijing is its banker
  12. Russian-Chinese trade up 20.8% in 2017, to $84.07 bln
  13. China would win in a trade war with U.S., analyst says
  14. The rise of the petro-yuan
  15. #Marriott apologizes for labeling China's territories as independent: CEO apologized for listing Tibet, among other parts of China, as a country and promised to take measures to prevent such incidents. "Marriott International respects and supports the sovereignty and territorial integrity of China"
  16. Uncle Sam's treatment of Huawei is world-class hypocrisy – consumers will pay the price
  17. The Chinese are now buying as much stuff as Americans, a game-changer for the world economy
  18. China has become the world's 5th largest US #patent recipient, having increased the number of patents it received tenfold in less than 10 years
In Military news
  1. Retired Colonel: China Looks to Bolster Military Presence in #Pakistan. A Chinese military base in Jiwani would control the vital sea lanes in the Arabian Sea at the mouth of the Persian Gulf and provide another link in a string of potential military facilities from the South China Sea to Africa
  2. China’s Wing Loong II Killer #Drone Fires 5 Missiles in Single Sortie: After multiple rounds of flight and firing tests, the Wing Loong II UAS has conducted firing tests with eight types of missiles and dozens of bombs, with a hit rate of 100 percent
  3. PLA Navy to streamline pilot training as more aircraft carriers expected
  4. Chinese armies are now able to use #robots to fire ballistic missiles after successfully developing an automated launching system. The advanced system would help China fire warheads three times faster and halve the number of soldiers involved
  5. Jan 3rd 2018 Military Report Video
  6. Work on main battleship for China’s new-generation aircraft carrier enters home stretch: China now is building four Type 055 destroyers, with two designed to be ‘imperial bodyguards’ to the first home-grown carrier in high seas
  7. China’s hi-tech missile ambitions are marching ahead at warp speed: The DF-17 is the first missile system anywhere that uses a #hypersonic glide vehicle as its payload and is intended for operational deployment. US intelligence expecting the DF-17 to enter service around 2020
  8. Chinese armed forces start new round of training in 2018
  9. New batch of Y-20 planes to boost military transport capability: At least five Y-20 transporters went into service in the country's Western Theater Command. The Y-20 has a maximum takeoff weight of 200 tons and is ideal for transporting cargo and personnel over long distances
Other Notables
  1. China’s top 10 box office hits of all time include four domestic films released in 2017
  2. Exiled Billionaire Guo Wengui funding Steve Bannon, American Far Right
  3. “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” has stumbled in China with a mediocre $28.7 million opening weekend, marking the first real disappointment for the Disney-Lucasfilm tentpole.
  4. The Temple of Heaven - Built between 1406 – 1420, Emperors of the Ming and Qing Dynasty came here for annual prayer ceremonies for a good harvest
  5. A Chinese soldier was challenged with drifting in a tank. He needed to drive three tanks and park them in the right location. Could he complete the "impossible challenge"
  6. Guangzhou - [2048x789]
  7. A combination of heavy blows gave the Chinese fighter called “Black Leopard” a TKO win over Francisco of Spain at Kunlun fight
  8. Ancestor Worship Ceremony Held in China's New Year Celebration: #Chinese people, including overseas Chinese, attended an ancestor-worshiping ceremony to celebrate the New Year at the Mausoleum of Huangdi, or the Yellow Emperor
  9. A Good Music Video Recommended for All Fathers and Daughters 王力宏 親愛的
  10. Catchy song from Brother Hao
  11. Chinese characters from ancient times to present day
  12. Demonizing China will not deter its rise – or improve America’s. America’s apparent policy failures and declining global influence could trigger more intense criticism against China, blaming it for everything under he sun.
  13. Can Germany overcome bias against China?
  14. Godfrey Gao Says He Experienced Racism While Growing Up In Vancouver
  15. GAI - 天乾物燥 (Chinese Hip-hop blended with traditional instruments)
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[Table] IAmA: Hi, I'm rob. I wrote ANIMAL FRIENDS: FLOATING ORANGE CUBES. 6 copies sold worldwide. AMA

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-02-23
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
My name is rob also. upvoted. EDIT holy shit. almost 2,000 upvotes for stating my name? damn. Your username... I... we need to be friends.
You're probably in your 30's. Im only 16. whispers"we'll make this work"" WE'RE GUNA MAKE IT AFTERALLL.
There's no way he gets that reference. Corn on the rob knows all.
He's gonna need to learn some Moore. More more moore.
In the midnight hour. I can feeel your power.
How do you like it? How do you like it?
Amazon says your book is in stock but requires one or day extra days to process. Are you drawing each one as it is ordered? Jk, it must be a lot of work to get to this point and I applaud you! Hehe, nah I don't draw any of it. Some company in Melbourne is managing it. I don't know... But I will say, all artwork was done by the kids at St Dominic's school for hearing impaired kids... some cool art.
That's pretty fucked up you're taking advantage of retarded kids to draw your books in some weird Dominican labor factory. Well, I am a bastard :/
You are Jon Snow? I wish I was that handsome motherfucker... sadly no... I'm rob.
I wouldn't attend any weddings... Edit: seriously people? Spoiler complaints? The book has been out for 14 years and the series has covered the event now. Get over it. Edit#2: For the record you would have needed prior knowledge for my innocuous comment to spoil anything. I know. I try.
Well I mean that's still cool. You seem like a pretty nice guy judging from this AMA. And about those little fishies that are swimming in the sea, do they dream of what it would be like to live on land with you and me?
I wonder if we get enough people summoning Here_Comes_The_King Snoop would rap your book for us? U/Here_Comes_The_King you have my blessings 100% to rap any of my stories ANYTIME... Here's one I made that rhymes if that helps.
The floating orange cubes send their regards. Haha :) I don't know why, but this made me piss myself laughing :D.
God damn it that was beautiful. Magine if snoop rapped it! Would make it a masterpiece!
I'm imagining the beat to "Drop it like it's hot" perhaps add a hook, female vocals, "Sweet sweet dreams.. baby Noah" Hehe. shit I hope this happens. where are you Here_Comes_The_King ??
Why did this make my eyes wet. I need to harden up. There's nothing more hard than a man who cries... I think The Rock said that...
Your book has only sold 6 copies and it has got 3 reviews on Amazon. Are the reviewers on Amazon your friends or your family who just bought the book to show their support ? They are. So really... I should say... ZERO copies sold to people I don't know...
two of those people seem to want to sell it, there are two "used, like new" listings. Shame on you robs friends. Yeh, fuck them :) actually might even be the distributor just trying to get rid of copies... like a $2 bin of books...
Just letting you know.. Assuming NO ONE else has purchased your book... You have now sold one to someone you don't know. My copy should arrive on the 27th :) Holy fucking shit thank you!!! Who are you? I want to know you!
It's probably bots. Especially with the price just a bit higher, they probably just order the books on-demand if someone buys it. That would be more likely yes...
Just a guy on the internet from the great city of Chicago in the United States. :) Batman?
Proof of purchase :p. I don't have the balls to be batman. But I'll happily read your book :) Woah fuck me. that is nuts... Link to www.youtube.com
Alright, no getting out of this one, you have to marry a male celebrity (not necessarily have to consummate the marriage, your decision). You must stay in this marriage for 5 years, after which you receive 10 million dollars. You can not decide not to do this or choose death; neither is an option. Which male celebrity would you have a bromance? How would you spend the money? Would you remain friends after the divorce or cry in the shower where people can't hear you? Easy. Leonardo DiCaprio. I would do that anyway. Dudes a legend. 10/10 would consumate... Afterwards, I divide the money up between my family members and go to fiji...
Titanic Leo, or Wolf of Wall street Leo? You said your safe word is Wolfy. Might get messy. Either would be acceptable.
Gilbert Grape Leo? Why is this even a question??? OF COURSE GGL!
What in the world is going on in this thread? It's like everyone popped a ton of molly before hand. What does 'ton of molly' mean? :)
Like a bunch of X. Brb. googling 'bunch of X'
Drugs. Where?
As in copious amounts of MDMA. Does that have PCP in it? :D.
Not usually, no. Sorry to disappoint? Brb. adding PCP to MDMA to see what happens.
Do you like trains? I love trains... when I travel on them, I pretend I am travelling to Hogwarts.
Link to www.reddit.com. I like free rides :D but I don't think they will have me :/
They said they'll take anyone. Even a blogger. I... I didn't read it completely... you got me... BUt I will check it out :)
After the AMA, how many have you sold? I will let you know... someone just told me they grabbed a kindle version, so... pretty stoked about that...
Fastest reply ever. So 7 sold? 1 to a stranger :D.
Thats a 4.99$ profit! HAHA! :) really properly laughing right now.
Wait until you do the math and figure out your hourly rate... Oh God Why.
So what do you plan on doing with the money? Giving it all away... ps. I don't do this for money... and am still epicly in the red for my troubles :\)
Why did you do it then? I mean, publish the book and all. I like telling stories is all...
Favourite kind of cheese? Blue cheese. Cheese and mould just go together so beautifully... I also love cheese cake.
time in my life that someone has replied to my comment on an AMA. Link to www.livememe.com
But Rob, isn't cheese a mold in itself? :0
What? Our great big are Reddit family didn't support you? Oh no. you guys did. you guys did indeed! what I mean is... take a sample of say 10,000 people in Australia... one question: Do you know this guy? results: no one...
Oh. Well I'm not in Australia so sorry about that. Good luck on your book though! Thanks man. You are most kind... And may I too, also wish you the best with your creative endeavours... whatever they may be... what are they btw?
Dude! You're talking about a place with scorpions and crocodiles and koala bears! Nobody's heard of anyone because they're too busy fighting for their life with swords and bows and eucalyptus leaves! This is true... except Koala bears... I love those guys... have one as a butler in fact :)
With all this success, do you find your life changing. Like are you able to order McDoubles at McDonalds now instead of just a normal burger? Haha. iv moved up in the world. I only go to McCafe now...
Wow... That's truly impressive. Congratulations OP, you're a successful celebrity! Look at me dad! I'm just like James Bond :D.
I also hear karma is worth a lot as well. You may be set for life soon OP. I'm guna cash in HARD.
What's your book about? These birds attack a village of Cicadas (For no reason... just being the dicks that they are) and then, the Cicadas travel through a television screen somehow, and come out the other side falling from the sky and shit all over said birds... There's a bit of a struggle for territory scenario happening for while, indicative of what many cultures have experienced through history... Then there is peace... or is there?? read to find out :D
BirdsBeingDicks. Haha. fuckn birds. thank you for this. I will now become a subscriber and enjoy hours of laughs thanks to you /Fluffy017.
Like, literally shit on them? How do you translate this to childrens book? Through the magic of words :D I don't know... that was just the tl;dr of the book...
You just linked to the subreddit Fluffy017 NOT to the user. You damn fool, Rob. Fuck. I am such a dickhead :/
Anytime, bro. I'm always down to support a fellow author :) Also if you like that sub, you might also like its cousin, /birdswitharms. And /animalswithoutnecks too... I do NOT have a problem >.> Link to makeameme.org
fuck. I a such a dickhead :/ on an AMA for a childrens book.. 10/10. Hey, just callin it like it is :)
Interesting choice. do you fear mel gibson would be an abusive lover? and would justin be gentle or rough? Any man with the name Mel would be a gentle lover... Justin... he won't get a say in the level of roughness...
(´・_・`) Don't hate the player hate the game :p.
Most def does, how much would you charge for a signed copy sent all the way to Norway? PM me your address. If you make a YouTube video of you reading it, pretending to be all excited and shit, you can have it for free :)
No really, I'll fucking do it. I will sign it...
Obviously you'll have to sign it to your very best friend, since we're best friends now, right? "To my fucking amazingest best friend in the universe."
I'll add you to my friends list on reddit, so yes - we are. Wait, GOLD?
Also, gold. SHIIITTT YEEEAAAHHH.
We are planning to do dramatic readings of books, often taking completely appropriate passages and making them sound inappropriate (weighing of the wands in Harry Potter for example). We definitely plan on doing yours now :D And put in a special word for how awesome you are! Firstly, that is incredibly incredible. Harry Potter is definitely the classic of classics... secondly, can you make a video of this happening?? :D.
DONE! Next time you're in Norway a beer is on me. You'll thank me when you realize how expensive beer is up here. You know what... I might even be there in a few months to take you up on that :)
Do it, will be amazeballs! 10/10 happening.
Oh. My. God. I would just like to say that you are my favourite author. JK Rowling is a piss-stain compared to your level of literature. Is there any way you could share your secret? Or could I at least get a copy of your bestseller signed? THANK YOU! I don't even care that you're joking... That made me feel all types of nawws. Thank you GrandmaTaco. You have made me smile :) I will share my secret with you... And that secret is... Tear shit up.
I actually only just read the Amazon link. Is it true that it is illustrated by hearing-impared children? If so, keep up the awesome work! It is indeed. Was so much fun getting the kids involved. There are some scenes that I needed illustrated that had animals pooing on other animals... the kids really dug drawing those ones :) lesson: kids love poo in stories.
That is Fucking awesome. You said I put a smile on your face, now you have put one on mine. The way humanity should be.
I'm 30 years old and I LOVE poo in stories. I'm 31. Can confirm: Poo in stories NEVER gets old :)
Do you have a day job? What is it? Also, tell us your best non-generic joke. Yeh. I work in digital marketing... 9 to 5 type deal... ends up usually being 8 to 6 or 7 :/ How do you catch a rabbit? lay real low in the grass and make noises like a carrot... gets me everytime... even when I was just writing it right now :)
I actually giggle out loud! (At the joke, not your job!!) Happy to help :)
What is your favourite movie of all time? This is an easy one. THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION. Favourite scene probs when Andy Dufresne listens to the music with the doors locked, not giving ANY fucks... What about you man? Wait... your username... are we pals already???
I love Shawshank, an amazing movie and that's my favourite scene from it too! Second favourite scene...
So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit Just absolutely brilliant! Oh shit! The whole film is just fucking perfect! :D.
It is! You seem pretty cool. I hope your book sells well :D. Thanks man. Either way... My dream is for me to die horrifically and then sales go through the roof!
Just go mad and cut your ear off like Van Gogh... Van Bro.
Hi my name's Jake. I'm canadian and I'm your new friend. Want to watch the swedes get their asses whooped at hockey in a few hours? I am definitely staying up to watch this! Fuck yeh! GO CANADA EY!
YES!!! This is the best. Converted another one! We can IM during the game if you'd like. Ok. lock me in. what time exactly??
The game is at 4am my time. It's currently 1:13am. Ah. You're on the east coast?
Can... Can you take my girlfriend and me to the aquarium? Shes been wanting to go for ages but Im too much of a disorganised anus. You may think I am joking here, but I will 100% do this. we talkin Syd?
Favorite kind of jam? There could be only one answer
You had me laughing for a good bit there! But seriously, what is your favorite marmelade flavor? I need it for my researches! Probs have to go with the classic... orange marmalade... That's one of them yeh?
"Maaad" is this a common saying between Aussies? I only ask because I have seen way to many MightyCarMods videos... I think it is. I only know a handful of Aussies... Also, what is MightyCarMods? car show?
They do diy car mods and things on the YouTubes. They make me giggle. I like to laugh... will check this out :) thanks.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much wood as a woodchuck could.
If a woodchuck could chuck wood? )
What is it that makes Australia such an awesome country? I love this country because: Health care is pretty sweet, there are no major wars going on, the sports are great, you can go surfing in almost every town, and basically everyone is someone I'd like to have a beer with. You should come say gday :)
Are there any minor wars? There's always bullying, drug problems and injustices... but on the scale of none to Venezuela... we are closer to none...
I'm from Winnipeg, Canada, but have lived near San Francisco since 1994. Sorry, I'm not a chess player. Or an online player of anything at all. How would I be able to order an autographed copy of your new book? :D. PM your deets. I'll get you one if you video yourself reading it and jumping for joy :D Who did you go for in the Canada V USA hockey game in the Winter Olympics???
Canada all the way!!! My oldest son is going to tape tomorrows game, because it's happening at 4 a.m. here. I'm going to head over to his place at 10 and we'll watch it together, fast forwarding through the intermissions. Go Canada go!!! Hehe, I would fervently support your plight... but since I am Australian...
Link to i.imgur.com
Just let me know if I'm interrupting you guys. Carry on.
What is your safe word? Wolfy.
Oh. )
Whats your DEEPEST darkest secret?! or Family secret? or do you like cats? I love cats. My deepest secrets wow... Um... I really dig older women... like. a lot older :/
GMILF's all the way. Thanks for not upvoting the shit outa that one guys. IOU.
What is your favorite book? That's a tough one... mainly because I don't read that often... I really really really like The Dark Tower series... mainly because it just gets weird (weird is essential)... but there are some dull bits...
Got any cool plans this upcoming week? Guna be working mainly. But huge week this week. Huge week. First episode of the new season of Survivor is happening. I fucking love that shit. So, there's that... How about you canitouchyourtouchie?? where do you live and such? what do you do?
57 cents off? What a deal! Also, this is one of the better AMAs I've read. You seem like an awesome person with an awesome attitude on life. You tell the stories that need to be told. That is an extremely nice thing to say. Thank you changelifetoday. If you ever need a friend, you have one in me.
Sup rob? What are you thinking about? If I don't get an answer I'm gonna be so mad. I'm on the couch with my laptop... Survivor: Gabon rerun on the tv... I'm thinking about the tacos I had for dinner. lishuss. What are YOU thinking about jacqui_ ??
What are your views on New Zealand? I saw you were Australian.. I don't despise NZ (contrary to most). Have been there a few times and dig it... The LOTR tour is still on my bucketlist... why do you ask?
Awesome :D I was over in Brisbane the other week visiting. SOOO DAMN HOT!! I was actually talking to a guy last night who went on the Hobbiton tour and you actually can visit the pub and the give you free beer. FREE BEER?? WWOW...
Nah no real reason for asking to be honest. Kinda seems to be the go to thing for down in this parts of the world sometimes haha. I was going to ask your views on the new Aus Prime Minister? I haven't really followed things over there too much, but hear he has mixed reviews.. I try and steer clear of politics (unlike a vast majority of my Facebook friends). My feelings are, unless I actively support a cause or movement, I probs shouldn't talk as if I know the whole situation...
EDIT: Hobbiton spelling. You dig?
How stoned are you right now? But seriously, you're my fav ama so far, ive read pretty much the whole thing. Keep it up. I haven't been stoned in ages... dammit... Thank you indeed :) where are you in the world? watching the hockey final later? I mean now... shit.
Got your book on kindle (sorry, I don't really like print media). Just read the first two pages, but the bit about Abby thinking the flies should prepare to die made me literally laugh out loud. I hope you sell a million copies and become famous and write more books about insect-murdering children. Um...question: At what point did you decide your book was finished and ready for public consumption? And do you have any advice on writing "funny"? Thaaanks :) Shit! You paid money... THANK YOU. I... to answer your question... It helped to kind of set a release date and just work to that... letting go of it when it was done was just awesome... so many edits... Writing funny... I'm probably not the best person to comment on that one... people who think they are funny, usually are not funny... So, I don't think I'm funny... So that means I'm funny right? :/
Shameless plug: www.mybtdt.com Melbourne's lowest selling sunglasses company! Discount code for Reddit? DOGEFTW. I wish you all the best with this man. You got to follow your dreams... It will happen for you if it's what you love...
I am currently working on my AA in English Literature, I want to be an author. I mostly do short stories, and hope to publish a compilation someday. What authors have most influenced your work? As someone whos story has been published but not successful, do you feel any sort of resentment towards anyone for that? Readers, publishers, etc? How hard was it to get published? Wow. You must be way more smarts than I am... I think anyone who tries to be weird influences me... authors, musicians, tv & film creators, teachers, people grinding out a 9 to 5... if you're putting your mark on what you do... I respect that...I don't feel any resentment to anyone... I am self-published... it wasn't hard... Answer your Q's friend? I hope your writing goes well. Message me when you are ready and I will check out your stuff...
What the hell, man. You could have mentioned you have a trailer. Yes, there's that too :D.
If we all left amazing reviews on the Amazon page, do you think this would help boost sales? I think yes. that would be cool. PS. ur username... I think I wana be your friend.
Hi rob! Do you know about cryptocurrencies like bitcoin or dogecoin? Would you consider accepting dogecoin for your books? I accept Bitcoins on my website :) google 'Kids Author' to find me... there's 2 books in my Bitcoin Only book store :)
You look stoned in the AMA image. You a pot head? No why? You sellin? Maybe.
Ok, you seem to be the very chill, very active AMA creator, so I will ask you two questions. 1: What colour is your toothbrush? 2: Which part of a blowjob would you personally prefer to give to another man: the first 99%, or the last 1%? Orange.
I'll give 100%. Just the kinda guy I am ;)
Whereabouts in Melbourne are you from? I'm actually up in Newcastle... will be down there in a few weeks if you wana have a beer or something.
Ah funny that! I will be in Newcastle around end of this year :) I'll have to check my busy schedule! Haha. Lets do it :)
I imagine this is what J.D. Salinger would be like if he were an extrovert. Now for my question: what direction does the water spin when you flush the toilet in Australia? Hold on. I'll check...
Anti Clockwise.
6 copies sold worldwide... Did you sell 1 copy on each continent? Not exactly... was more like one on each family member :/ Oh. And I bought one...
Hi rob. Just wondering why your name isn't capitalised? I consider myself a sub-human... not as important as other rob's. you dig? :)
Would said message declare undying love for me? Link to www.livememe.com
You just inspired me to write the book I've had on my mind for 30 years. I mean, if this Rob guy can do it, why can't I? That's exactly right! do it man :) And send me a link when you're done so I can check it out...
Hey Rob, I really want to buy your book and I live near Melbourne but everywhere wants $20+ for shipping which is crazy. Is there a local way to get the book? Free shipping here my friend :) Link to www.bookworld.com.au
Yes! I'm doing quite well now. How are you? Not too bad indeed :) what are you up to???
Do you know where I am? :D.
Potato? Potato.
I just wanted to say that I purchased the kindle edition and the people at work tomorrow are going to get a dramatic reading from it. Holy shit! thanks. hey can... can you make a video of that happening? That would be maaad!
Yeah I should be able to do that for you. Ill send you a youtube link of it when i get it done. This is fucking excellent :) I can't wait!!!
just so that there is a question in this, in april I'm going to Australia (Melbourne and then Sydney) for 3 weeks, what the fuck should I do there since I haven't been in 12 years. Sydney... Red Oak Boutique Beer Cafe is cool... PLUS the aquarium. fuckn love aquariums... you can snorkel places too... look me up. I'll take you...
You are super friendly! I cant work out if it's creepy or not. Defs creepy. Brb. Browsing your submitted history :P.
:) You're gonna be sorely disappointed. No no. wana be friends and stuff? :)
Took mah bitch there today. Edit: tickets are $28 online so grab em there. When are we all going???
I almost need this in my collection. Almost counts right? :)
Last updated: 2014-02-27 05:38 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
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